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It’s December, and it’s cold. That’s how it was for her now. Just another cold wintery month. The snow drifted in the air; floating like large puffs of cotton. People around her didn’t seem bothered by the flying cotton balls; they seemed happy. Well at least happier than her. She didn’t know when was it that she had become this cynical and cold. Colder than that icy draft that blew across her face every now and then as she walked down the street to her destination. Her destination? That stupid pre Christmas office party, which her ‘over-the-top’ boss was hosting. All in all, she wouldn’t have bothered coming down to this one. But then something told her, it would be better to stay in her boss’s good books; just in case. Furthermore, her boss just loved to show her off. He could have been a sweetheart but then he had this habit of groping women’s body parts. And her butt was no exception.

Hands dug deep into her fur coat’s pockets and head hung low, she struggled through the cold draft and the snow towards the office building. The wind blew through her hair; streaking a few strands of hair across her face. She tucked them behind her ear as she looked around. People on the street are loud and greeting each other; the usual festive cheer. If only it lasted the entire year, the world would have been a better place. She scoffed to herself thinking how these same people wouldn’t give a second look if a drunk guy lay dead on the pavement. But hey, it’s December! So let’s all pretend and show how nice we are. Shaking her head at her own thoughts, she crossed the street and made her way towards the large glass doors of the building on the other side.

“Paula.” She acknowledged the woman behind the lobby desk; the woman flashed a wide smile at her showing off her perfect teeth. She managed a small smile back at her. The lobby was empty, except for Paula behind the desk and the big burly security guy who was leaning on the desk, talking to her. She couldn’t recognise the big guy; probably new recruitment. But one thing she did recognise by looking at the size of his belly, was that he really need to get himself a diet having only salad and water. That sounded miserable; salad and water. But then that was what she had to thank for her killer figure. She avoided the guy’s look, it wasn’t anything new to have eyes running all over her body. The lobby was huge and sparkling clean. The floors were shiny, reflecting the lights on the ceiling. The walls smooth and shining. But the most important thing was, it was warm. After that walk through that unforgiving cold, the lobby felt like heaven.

“Top floor! They are waiting for you.” Paula said, as she walked past the desk and towards the elevator. She just nodded to her to indicate her understanding. Not that she was unpleasant or so, but that’s just her. She avoided talking to people as much as she could. There wasn’t any sound but the soft instrumental music coming from the speakers installed on the ceiling. Her heels made a clicking sound as she walked over the polished marbled floor. She watched her reflection on the shiny metal doors of the elevator, waiting for the elevator to come down. Surprisingly, she looked good in her dark grey fur coat and the green dress underneath. Her hair, apart from the tiny flecks of snow in them looked pristine. She brushed away the snow, tidying up her dirty blonde hair and looked at my face. She was pretty surprised that she didn’t look like some drunk bitch, given her foul mood. Honestly, she wouldn’t be able to tell herself that her mood was nowhere near good if she had to judge from her face. Well, that’s what pretending and putting up a mask everyday gets you. A perfect cover of wellness to hide the not so well interiors.

The elevator arrived, and she got in. The same music as the one in the lobby was playing. She wondered if people there even stopped to listen to it for a moment. She tapped her foot softly as the elevator started to climb up towards the top floor. What am I doing here, she asked herself. Hated every minute of such parties; so many people, music, talking. Got on her nerves. But despite all her complains (to herself), she was there. Perks of the job, she thought to herself ruefully. The job was okay; it paid well. In fact the money was really good and that was the only thing that kept her going. She wanted to be there because of her ambition and her hunger for more and more. So she sold her happiness for thick wads of cash; well who’s judging anyway? She checked herself on the elevator doors once more, smoothing down her dress which ended about an inch above her knees. She tucked her hair to one side of her neck revealing the bare skin. She didn’t wear any necklaces or other trinkets save for the small golden earrings. Personally, she felt her skin was the most precious ornament she could have; pale and soft. She didn’t need jewellery to accentuate it. The thing she loved most were smoky grey eyes. Men would compliment her about her lips, her face, her hair and obviously her breasts and her butt pendik escort (all thanks to the gym), but almost nobody complimented her on the eyes. Well, she couldn’t blame them entirely. For most she wasn’t the ‘falling in love’ type of woman. She was rather more of the ‘Honey, let’s fuck’ type. Men called her sexy, hot, gorgeous but almost nobody called her beautiful. Well, almost. With her 5’9 height and her 26 years old tight body, she was more into fucking anyways rather than falling in love.

The blast of “Merry Christmas” shouts that hit her when the elevator doors open was stronger that that cold draft blowing outside. She pasted a fake static smile on my face as she got out of the elevator. Her mood soured even more as she glanced around the hall. Full of people; mostly her office mates. But there were some she didn’t recognise. Some of her office mates had showed up with their family members as well; wives, girlfriends, husbands or boyfriends. She had none.

Good for me, she thought to herself.

“May I take your coat, ma’am?” There’s a guy waiting by the elevator with his hand out to take her coat. Slowly, she pulled off her fur coat down her arms and handed it to him. She could almost hear the faint whistle that came out through his lips as he gazed at her silky sleeveless green dress wrapped around her tight figure. The smile on her face widened just a bit; she knew she looked good.

She had to look good, that dress had costed her almost a month’s salary. The dark silky green had caught her eye when she had been shopping. And when she had tried it on, and saw just how well it complimented her figure, the price tag hadn’t mattered anymore. The dress stopped just short of reaching her knees, about an inch high up. That was perfect to show off her toned legs (thanks again to those long hours at the gym) and the Jimmy Choo heels only helped to show her shapely bubble butt (Thank you, gym). She had her adolescence period to thank as well for her nice tight figure. Those years at college, cheerleading had helped to maintain her figure.

She could feel the man’s eyes on my back as she walked away. The usual greetings and customary exchanges, smiles and handshakes. The hall was full of chatter. The decorations had been done beautifully though; mistletoe hung from the ceiling and colourful lights adorned the walls. The women, some genuinely praised her attire while some hid their questions behind a facade of fake praises. The men; well most of them couldn’t do the subtle act of admiring her body. Not that she was complaining. But she had no interest in reciprocating their ‘admiration’. Honestly, she have been out of the dating scene for quite a long time now. It did seem a bit unusual with a 26 year old, but her eyes were set on work and climbing up to higher places. The occasional flings were there, but serious love and relationships were not on her mind.

“Nikki!”

Her thoughts were interrupted by a voice she knew too well. Trying not to groan out loud, she plastered that fake smile across her face and turned around to face her ‘almost sweetheart’ boss, Mr. Arnold Valeron.

“Hello, Mr. Valeron.” She said, not so warmly to her boss. He was in his mid fifties, married and had two kids. But that didn’t stop him from hitting on every girl he could get his eyes on. She hated the fact that he called her ‘Nikki’ instead of her good name, ‘Nicole’. Nobody called her ‘Nikki’, she simply hated it when people cropped her name. His wide smile irked her a bit more, as he came over and put his arm around her shoulders (Touchy, as always).

“Where have you been?!” He exclaimed, his other hand holding the glass of champagne, whose contents were on the verge of spilling over.

“Had some things to take care.” She mumbled back as he steered her through the crowd, his hand across her shoulder a bit too strong. He didn’t seem to hear what she had just said.

“I want you to meet someone here!” He said in his loud voice. She suppressed yet another groan. Must be some bore corporate colleague of his, she thought to herself.

“Aha! Here he is. Nikki I want you to meet the man of the moment, Mr Kevin Volland.” He exclaimed in his excited voice.

For a moment, her mind remained blank as she followed her boss’s gaze and looked towards the man he was addressing. And then the name, ‘Kevin Volland’ rang across her mind. Before her mind could register what that name signified, the man to whom her boss was pointing, turned to look at her.

For the first time in that night; no, probably the first time in years she felt shaken out of her calm resolve. She stared at the man in front of her; his smooth rich caramel coloured skin and his hair cropped short. Those light brown eyes and that stubble across his jaw. She felt something deep down in her belly; something she hadn’t felt for a long time. An uneasiness, a nervous excitement as her eyes trailed over his beautifully sculpted jaw line. Kevin Volland, the only man capable kartal escort to make her feel nervous.

“Hello, Nicole Sheridan.”

She shuddered slightly at the sound of his deep voice. His voice, it felt as if it came out of his chest instead of his mouth. The deep tone of his voice, that smooth laughter that she still remembered.

“Oh you two know each other?!” Arnold exclaimed in his loud voice which sounded even more irritating now.

“Uh-huh.” Volland said with a smile which looked more like a smirk. “Nicole and I went to the same college.” She looked into his brown eyes. College brought back a lot of memories; memories she had buried deep inside herself, underneath her skin and bones.

“That’s simply perfect then!” Arnold said, “I’d leave you two now! I’ve got to go talk with Hudson there, he looks pissed.” He gave both of them a quick smile and went off into the crowd of other guests. She felt much better without his arm across her shoulders, but her relief was short lived.

“Well, how long has it been?”

She turned to face him again. The smirk had gone, his brown eyes looked at her in full concentration. She couldn’t help but notice how he had not lost one bit of his handsomeness. He was wearing a dark blue sweater and charcoal trousers. He looked so different from all the rest of the people there. Everyone were dressed so extravagantly in their best clothes and he just stood there in a casual sweater and grey pants. Even now, just like all those years ago, he looked so damn handsome. That stubble on his face gave him a rugged look, and those brown eyes were two orbs full of deep secrets and mysteries. Kevin never talked much; he would only observe. His eyes would do all the talking. Those little signs that only she knew.

“You tell me.” Nicole said, her grey eyes clouding over. Of course he still had the effect over her, but that didn’t mean she was going to forgive him for what had happened. But what did happen? Sometimes she felt it had been all her mistake, sometimes she felt it was Kevin who had been the culprit. But all in all the thing that was certain was that she had missed him; missed him all these 3 years that she hadn’t seen him. She hated the fact that he had never called once to check on her, never sent her any messages or emails. And then from nowhere, he popped up after 3 years and Nicole felt a bit annoyed at herself for feeling those butterflies in her tummy.

“Frosty.” Kevin said, in a low voice. He looked away from her and towards the bar. “Listen I’m gonna go get myself a drink, if you want to talk you can catch me there. And it’s alright if you don’t wanna, I understand how you feel.”

Understand? Nicole thought to herself. How could you possibly understand, Kevin. She watched him turn and walk away from her towards the bar, leaving her there alone amongst the crowd of people. She knew she should have walked away, just like Kevin did 3 years ago. But something inside of her, wrenched her body to move towards him. So many conflicting thoughts crashed in her mind, as she made her way through the crowd. She knew, she should have just fled from the party but instead she walked towards him; yet another mistake.

Nicole Sheridan had been 16 years of age when she had first seen Kevin Volland. But they hadn’t talked to each other for another 2 years. The surprising thing was when kids of his age were much more into basketball, football or baseball, Kevin was into soccer (which the rest of the world called Football). He was nothing less than mesmerising to watch; agile and strong. He used to be a central midfielder. He wasn’t particularly buffy but he had that athletic lean figure. Tall, about 6’1, the muscular cuts on his legs and arms would stand out beautiful like strokes of paint on a portrait. But it wasn’t his figure or his muscles that had attracted her.

It had been in an assignment when they had been grouped together, that they first talked. Nicole had been attracted by his nature. For a man who was an athlete, he had a very soft nature. Kevin had charisma but not in being extravagant. His charisma lay hidden below layers of his reserve. His deep voice had a soft tone to it, and he was intelligent. Not only in formal education, but he wasn’t crass or loud mouthed. Most of what Nicole had liked was how he respected others, specially women. When they had first went out together, he never touched her in any creepy manner. It had been so easy to talk with him; he made her laugh and the talks flowed spontaneously. After the date had ended, their first kiss had blown her away on her porch.

Nicole shook her head, to disperse her thoughts. Those seemed to be a long time ago now. That first kiss, and those 4 years that followed. She had been so happy, Kevin had loved her so much and so did she. They had taken it slow; she loved him even more for never pressuring her into anything. And when the night had come, when she had lost her virginity to him, it had been special. The sex maltepe escort had not been mind blowing because they both were nervous and the backseat of the car was cramped up. But she could still remember his whispering in her ears, that look of fierce love in his dark brown eyes. Well the sex that followed after that night was something that couldn’t just be forgotten. They both grew into it, learning more of each other’s fantasies. Kevin knew how to turn her inside out; if he was sensuously gentle one moment, he would be a merciless lover the very next moment. Her body and mind would be wrecked by those heavenly hours of their lovemaking. She would be a mess in his arms, and then when he would say she was the most beautiful woman in the whole world, Nicole would just hopelessly slip more into his love.

Goddamit, she cursed inside of her as she finally made it through the crowd and reached the bar counter. She saw him seated on one of the stools towards the right. The nervous feeling creeping into her, she walked up to him. He turned towards her, he didn’t have a smile on his face.

“Whatever it is, Kevin” she said in a determined voice, “don’t expect forgiveness.”

“What?” He said, looking at her in genuine surprise. “What am I supposed to ask forgiveness for, Nicole?”

“Well for instance you walked aw-” she started before he set his glass down on the counter a bit too loudly.

“I didn’t walk away, Nicole.” He said, his brown eyes suddenly looking bright. “You didn’t want to-” he turned away and didn’t continue.

“Didn’t want, what?” She said, her voice rising. She reached out with her right hand and made him turn towards her again. “Didn’t want to marry you right? I was 22, you were 22. How could we get married then?”

“That wasn’t the thing, Nicole!” He replied, “I wanted to try long distance, but you didn’t want that. I asked you to marry me you didn’t want that. What did you want?”

“You could have stayed one more year, Kev!” She said angrily, “But you just had to go to England didn’t you? L.A. wasn’t just good enough for you!”

“It was a contract,” he retorted back. “They would have backed out if I hadn’t signed. Plus it was my career, I wasn’t going anywhere with Galaxy, and it was Manchester United for Chris sake, Nicole. Besides you moved on pretty quick. Didn’t you hook up with that Baron guy, 2 months later?”

“Fuck you, Kevin.” She had had enough for the night. Nicole turned on her heels and walked away. She was getting out of this party, away from Kevin. Her whole body stung with what Kevin had said, but she couldn’t blame him. But he wouldn’t understand. That night when Kevin had come to her house saying he had signed the contract, she went flying into a rage. They had fought the whole night, and he had walked out of her house. No calls, no texts nothing; the next day. When she got worried and went to his house 3 days later, his neighbours informed her he had left for Manchester already. Not even a goodbye. She hated him for that, hated herself for what she did to them. And in those lonely nights, she missed him; his warm voice, his soft touches, his kisses and how they would make love. She was 22, her hormones were at their peak. Those lonely nights didn’t help. She didn’t even know why she hooked up with Lance Baron, who used to be another college mate. Maybe it was just another heat of the moment thing. In the end, as she lay naked on his bed, she felt frustrated and totally unsatisfied her thoughts callin out Kevin’s name.

The guy who had taken her furcoat earlier that evening looked at her in surprise as she snatched away the coat from him and walked away towards the elevator. As she waited for the lift to arrive, she saw Kevin’s reflection on the shiny metal doors of the elevator. Before she could protest or even turn around, the lift doors opened and she felt his hand on her back slightly nudging her into the lift. He got in behind her. Another couple had been waiting to get in, but Kevin put up a hand to indicate to take the other one. The lift doors closed, and she could see herself again on them and Kevin. Something in that moment, she felt a sudden emotion as if they were together again. But then the look on his face reminded her, that the fantasy lay a long way away from her reality.

“Always running, aren’t you Nicole?” He said looking at her reflection. She didn’t reply to him but fidgeted with her coat. He continued, “You never let me even finish that night before you went into a fit.”

“You didn’t even say a goodbye.” Nicole replied looking up. “And yeah, I hooked up with Lance. So what? You never even called, did you? Guess English girls were hotter than me, huh?” She could see her pale skin was flushed, she was blushing as well. Kevin didn’t reply to her jibe. Frustrated with his silence, she cursed out as the elevator reached the ground floor. She started to go right once the doors had slid open, but he grabbed her wrist and pulled her to the left out of the lift.

“What the fuck are you doing, Kev?” She hissed out angrily, trying her best not to make a scene. She followed him, having no choice as her wrist was tightly held in his hand. The grip was firm but it didn’t hurt. Somehow the feel of his hand on her skin after all those years was making her even more nervous.

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